Scriptural Solutions for Struggling Relationships
“With him is wisdom and strength, he hath counsel and understanding.” Job 12:13 (KJV)
For this week’s blog entry, I was encouraged to elucidate on conflict resolution in relationships. All of us are familiar with the fixture of relationships in our human experience. We all have different relationships with spouses, parents, children, employers and fellow employees. Some of them move in smoothness providing an abundance of joy. Others provide an abundance of jail time and a yoke of unpleasantness.
So where should should we seek the solutions for a sunburned soul or a heart burned by some heavy hurt? What do you do when you are united in an ugly mess of misunderstanding? The Scriptures (God’s Word) give us guidance on the synergy between souls and our Savior as well as our relationships with fellow saints. As followers of Christ we can know and exercise the wisdom essential in executing excellent decisions in our relationship. In addition, this will empower us to operate and order our relationships in a manner that magnifies God.
Therefore, I invite you to give committed consideration to the following steps for securing solutions in a struggling relationship.
#1 Make a full and intentional commitment to please the Lord in all things. Remember although you are in a relationship, the relationship should revolve and rest in the Lord. Pleasing Him first makes it possible to please each other.
“Wherefore we labour, that, whether present or absent, we may be accepted of him.” 2 Corinthians 5:9 (KJV)
“I therefore, the prisoner of the Lord, beseech you that ye walk worthy of the vocation [calling] wherewith ye are called, with all lowliness and meekness, with longsuffering, forbearing one another in love; endeavouring [exert oneself and give diligence] to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.” Ephesians 4:1-3 (KJV, comments added)
#2 Examine and judge your own shortcomings with Scripture.
Personal evaluation will sever you from the strong ropes of selfishness and blame-shifting.
“Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts: and see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.” Psalm 139:23-24 (KJV)
“For if we would judge ourselves, we should not be judged.” 1 Corinthians 11:31 (KJV)
You see, self-examination is essential because it will prevent being subject to God’s judgment
#3 Confess your sins to the Lord first. Then confess your sins committed against your spouse or the person with whom you are in a relationship.
“Have mercy upon me, O God, according to thy lovingkindness: according unto the multitude of thy tender mercies blot out my transgressions. Wash me throughly from mine iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin. For I acknowledge my transgressions: and my sin is ever before me. Against thee, thee only, have I sinned, and done this evil in thy sight: that thou mightest be justified when thou speakest, and be clear when thou judgest.” Psalm 51:1-4 (KJV, emphasis added)
Did you notice that David confessed his crimes to God first? Likewise, we must start with our heavenly accountability first and then transition to earth to the people to whom we are accountable.
#4 Repent from the sin you committed against God and your spouse or the person with whom you are in a relationship. You need to turn to God or your relationships will burn.
Repentance includes a change of mind, will and heart. It is a supernatural act where self is put to death and results in permanent change. Repentance is not regret. Regret is to feel sorrow or remorse for an act or fault. It is superficial, selfish and short-lived. Too many of us tie ourselves with the ropes of regret when we should be tied to repentance.
“The Lord is not slack concerning his promise, as some men count slackness; but is longsuffering to us-ward, not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance.” 2 Peter 3:9 (KJV)
#5 Harness and hold on to honesty. Honesty hooks your relationship to the power of heaven. It also assists in the maturation of the relationship.
“Lie not one to another, seeing that ye have put off the old man with his deeds; and have put on the new man, which is renewed in knowledge after the image of him that created him.” Colossians 3:9 -10 (KJV)
#6 Answer the call of being an anointed assassin. God calls us to shoot to kill our flesh. It is our flesh, our human condition, that calls us to a lawless loyalty.
“Mortify [put to death] therefore your members which are upon the earth; fornication, uncleanness, inordinate affection, evil concupiscence, and covetousness, which is idolatry.” Colossians 3:5 (KJV, comments added)
“Therefore, brethren, we are debtors, not to the flesh, to live after the flesh. For if ye live after the flesh, ye shall die: but if ye through the Spirit do mortify the deeds of the body, ye shall live.” Romans 8:12-13 (KJV)
It is inevitable to be caught in relational conflict. But you cannot cancel it without the conscience and council of Christ.
Not a sermon just some thoughts.
For the Glory of God,
PBKSR